Why This Dad Chose to Raise Two Kids with Clefts Himself

Chaipishek, 54, lives with his two children and mother in a shack he built himself next to a lake. It offers little shelter from the elements and is so cramped the family often must sleep outside. Both his daughter, Aitya, 14, and his son, Anuwat, eight, were born with a cleft.

This man has encountered unbelievable hardships but meets them all with strength and dignity — traits he is working hard to inculcate into his children, who he is raising alone.

Our model’s unique ability to bring hope, joy, and healing to families like Chaipishek’s is just one reason why your support for Smile Train matters. You don’t have to take our word for it. Chaipishek wanted to tell you all that you mean to him himself.

The first time I saw my daughter with her cleft, I was blank. I had no idea what a cleft is. I didn’t even know the difference between a cleft lip and cleft palate. I really had no clue about this situation.

So I asked the doctor what it is and what to do. He advised me that this is not a disease, that this is something that could happen to anyone and that my child is not the only one who is experiencing this situation.

I knew this would be very hard for us because I do freelance work. It can be working in a field, collecting fruits, working with trucking, cleaning houses — I will do any type of work that pays a daily rate, whatever it may be. Every month my income will be very different, depending on the amount of work I find, but we never have much money.

Still, I saved everything I could to get a surgery for Aitya. When she was three months old, we managed to find a hospital that would do a surgery on her cleft lip. We were very thankful for it, but when she recovered, we were not happy with the result.

“Whatever Happens, He Is Still My Son”

When Anuwat was born, I did not have the opportunity to see him because he also had asthma and other complications. He had to be in incubation for a week, but the doctor came to tell me he had the similar situation as my daughter. He asked me if I wanted to raise him. At the time, I said a lot of things I am not proud of because I didn’t understand what was happening in my life.

First my daughter, then my son — why did it have to happen to me again? I didn’t want to believe it. Then I understood that the doctor had asked me that just to make sure that if I saw my son, I would accept and raise him. I thought about it and told myself whatever happens, he is still my son.

I had to discuss the news with my wife, who was resting and recovering in another room. Or, I tried to talk to her, but she was too upset. She only cried and shook her head and didn't want to accept our son. She did not talk at all for a long time. I kept trying to convince her to accept that this helpless baby is our son, but she still didn’t want to talk. Eventually, I decided that I don’t care what she says. This is my son and I will raise him alone if I have to.

Struggling to Understand

Even with Aitya, the only time my wife accepted to hold her was when she had to feed. She did the same with Anuwat. I didn’t feel comfortable about it, but I didn’t really have a choice. If we were going somewhere outside together, my wife refused to hold them in public because she was embarrassed to have kids like that. If we were in the market, it was always me who was holding our children.  

I knew Anuwat would have it harder than his sister because after spending every cent of our savings on her surgery, I knew I could simply never afford another one for him. That meant he had to go to school with an untreated cleft.  

The teacher told me that there was no problem at all, but I still kept asking and checking in on him to see if there was any issue. Anuwat also said that everything was fine, but deep down, I knew it wasn’t because even I had difficulty understanding him because of his cleft. A lot of the time, I had to ask him to speak slowly because even though he is my own son and I live with him, sometimes it was still hard to understand him.

My daughter helped me raise him. They both play with each other, and sometimes they tease each other just between the two of them. She also helps me take care of his clothes and food, but most of the time, I feed my son myself.  

Second Chances

When Anuwat was six, one of my neighbors told me that my children could receive cleft surgeries for free at the Tawanchai Center. I went right away and the doctors told me to bring both of my kids when we were ready.  

We were ready!

Just a few days later, my son had surgeries on his lip and palate and my daughter received a surgery to heal her palate and a better surgery on her lip. We felt very happy afterward because they made our dreams come true.

When we got home, everyone told me, “Wow! Your son is now better!”

And when Anuwat talked to me after going back to school after surgery, he said, “I am so happy. I can finally talk and play with my friends without anyone saying anything about me anymore.”

I am happy he is happy, but that also triggered me. It made me realize that in the past, every time I talked to him and he told me that there was no problem, in fact he did have a problem but didn’t want to tell me. If he wasn’t happy now, I might never have known.  

New Beginnings

My kids are now thriving at school. I want them to study as much as possible and I am saving up as much as I can so they can get an education in the future, but I don’t want to force them to be anything they don’t want to be. My biggest wish for them is that they be good people and be grateful for every good thing in their lives no matter how much or how little they may earn.

I am extremely grateful for Smile Train. When I found out that Anuwat and Aitya’s surgeries were free because people all around the world donated to this charity that works with the local staff at the Tawanchai Center, I began to cry. I still get teary eyed when I talk about it. I want to thank everyone who helped my children so that they can have a new life. For my son, especially, it’s like he was born as a new person, so I am very grateful.