Join advocates Iva Ballou and Ashley Barbour as they discuss their personal journeys and all things cleft lip and palate. From dating and relationships to bullying and the power of words, nothing is off-limits in this honest and empowering series.
Episodes
Episode 1: Meet Iva and Ashley, Cleft Advocates
Welcome to the Love Meets Joy podcast! In this first episode, hosts Iva Ballou and Ashley Barbour share their personal stories, their connections to cleft lip and palate, how they started their cleft advocacy journeys, and the goal of this new series.
Episode 2: Our Cleft Journeys
While all members of the cleft lip and palate community have some shared experiences, each individual’s journey is unique. In this episode, Ashley and Iva dive into their personal cleft experiences. Among other topics, they discuss their surgeries, cleft-related eating challenges, social and emotional difficulties, and their paths to self-acceptance.
Episode 3: Dating and Relationships with a Facial Difference
As members of the cleft community know firsthand, having a facial difference can introduce a completely new dimension to dating. Join Ashley and Iva as they discuss how their clefts have affected their romantic relationships and their approach to online dating, and the universal theme of searching for love and acceptance.
Episode 4: Cleft, Confidence, and Beauty Standards
Having a facial difference can complicate how individuals relate to conventional beauty standards. For cleft-affected women in particular, it can be an especially fraught topic. In this episode, Ashley and Iva discuss their own, ever-evolving journeys around makeup and scars, body image, cosmetic cleft-related procedures, and more.
Episode 5: Bullying and the Power of Language
Language is powerful and the words we choose to describe ourselves or others often contribute to the construction of our own internal narratives. While the terms used to describe clefts and other facial differences have evolved over time, there is still a lack of consensus among community members about which words are preferred and why. In addition to sharing their own thoughts about the “language of cleft”, in this episode, Ashley and Iva discuss their experiences with bullying and share advice for others who may be dealing with it.
Episode 6: A Parent's Cleft Journey: Meet Carolyn Ballou
In this special, two-part episode, Ashley and Iva introduce listeners to a completely different perspective of their cleft journeys – their mothers’. When did they find out their daughter would have a cleft? What was the most challenging part of the cleft journey for them? Is there anything they wish they’d known at the beginning? Did they grapple with any guilt? Joined by their daughters, Janet Barbour and Carolyn Ballou open up about all these topics and more.
Episode 7: A Parent's Cleft Journey: Meet Janet Barbour
In this special, two-part episode, Ashley and Iva introduce listeners to a completely different perspective of their cleft journeys – their mothers’. When did they find out their daughter would have a cleft? What was the most challenging part of the cleft journey for them? Is there anything they wish they’d known at the beginning? Did they grapple with any guilt? Joined by their daughters, Janet Barbour and Carolyn Ballou open up about all these topics and more.
Episode 8: Cleft Representation in Media
From the Joker to the Phantom of the Opera, from Scar to Alphonso from The Umbrella Academy, there are numerous examples of facial scarring or differences being used to identify the villain in media and to emphasize their evil. How do we change this stereotype and bring about industry-wide change to ensure facial differences are represented across all characters? In this episode, Ashley and Iva are joined by actor, dancer, recording artist, and fellow cleft advocate, Alex Isenberg, to dive into the history of this trope and what a more equitable future could look like.